February 27, 2008

My dearest, most precious Princess Kristiana,

In the three years that you have crawled, walked, ran, and even engulfed this earth, I am amazed at how quickly you learn, and how adept you are at applying what you learn. You are absolutely beautiful, and the world seems captivated by your charming, chipped-tooth smile and sparkling blue eyes. You make people smile with you antics, and that is good.

However, as 3 turns to 4 and 5 and older, it might not be as cute. In light of that, can we please lay down some ground rules?

1. What goes up, will come back down. This includes, but is definitely not limited to, stuffed animals in the ceiling fans, golf balls, frisbees, food, and you. Yep. If you jump, you will land. The higher you jump, the harder you will land. I know that you think pink casts are "cute," and I know that you were absolutely, unabashedly impressed with Dr. Hedric and Ruth (especially) at Blue Ridge Bone and Joint, but that does not mean we need to make annual, or bi-annual visits there. Please, stop jumping off of the furniture. You cannot fly. I know this for a fact. I am a mama.

2. What goes in, will come out. One end or the other. I promise. When mama says, "Don't put that in your mouth," please listen. I am waiting for me to become a penny richer, and you a penny poorer.

3. Clothes are for wearing. I am very proud that you can put your own clothes on (even backwards). I am also proud that you can take them off. That means you are getting to be a big girl. However, there are rules that our society expects you to follow. At home, a diaper is fine. But, when mama's students arrive, you really need to keep your clothes on. Hannah and Elizabeth don't mind, but I think it may kinda bother Trail, McKinley and Seth. Also, it really alarms me when the preacher says "Amen," and I look up only to see you standing there grinning -- with nothing but your diaper on. When the grown ups are praying, please keep your clothes on.

4. The animals. Please be kind to the animals. Boomer, our dog, likes to play fetch. Chopper, the fish, does not. Please don't try to play with him, it makes him nervous.

5. Paper. Paper is very good for writing. And you are writing very well. You make the cutest little circles. But, this means write on the paper. Not the wall, the desks, the table, mama's business stuff, daddy's church stuff, the computer monitor, music books, or the pews at church. Especially not with those cool black Sharpie pens that daddy uses for work.

6. The refrigerator is NOT a good hiding place for your toys. Or you, either, for that matter.

7. Neither is the trash can.

8. You talk very well. And everyone can understand almost all of what you say. This is good. Sort of. Please don't tell everyone everything that Brooks or your brother says. Calling your Sunday School teacher (even if it is just me) a dweeb isn't nice.

9. I know Brayden, Chase, Sawyer and Brooks like to play tackle football. Travis does as well. However, they are bigger than you. Much bigger. You cannot tackle them. Please stop trying. Also, don't let them tackle you. They will hurt you, even if they don't mean to.

Kristi, I love you.
Mom

Now, where did you go?