When Parenting Hurts

There is a very, very thin line between anger and pain. Very thin.

Today, we decided to take the kids to a local park to play. Things were going well. (In the past, Travis and Kristi just "start playing" with whatever kids are there, and everyone seems to have a good time. As matter of fact, just yesterday, Nard was talking about how easy it was for Trav to make friends and play with people he did not know.) Then, for no perceivable reason, this little girl tells Travis to stay away, he was "bothering her."

Now, for those who might be reading and wondering, when we go out like this, we watch our kids like a hawk. Obviously, for safety reasons, but also to make sure they are playing fair, etc. We saw the interaction. We could hear what she was saying.

My first inclination was to say, "Hold on there, missy. Not so fast." But, I figure an adult reprimanding a strange child would not be so good -- I wouldn't want someone talking to my son like that. Also, I realize that it is important that Travis learn to deal with this junk, so I sat quietly, and watched.

A few minutes more pass, and he walks by them again (her and her little friends were playing underneath the slide structure) and she tells him to go away, again. He asks her why, or something, and she goes running to her mother, who is not watching what is going on.

As she comes back, she looks at Travis and says, "Come with me." So, he does. They get back to the slide, and she looks at him and says, "Stop bothering us. Go away."

At this point, I am ready to unleash on this chick (who was all of 8, maybe 9 years old). But, I stayed calm (on the outside).

A few minutes later, her mother and her friends (there were four of them) meandered over and continued their conversation closer to the 'action,' which has now spread to include the other 4 or 5 kids playing. Travis comes over to us and we advise that he keep playing but not look at them at all. So, he does.

He told us later, everytime he went within earshot, she, and one of the little boys, told him to go away. He would slide, she would run to her mother and tell on him again. This went on for several minutes. Back and forth. Now, I was ready to come unglued on the mom -- a person I've "known of" for several years (she was a few years behind me in school, and I think we went to the same church at one point). Sadly, the *only* thing keeping me from it was that I had on my Crossroads Baptist Church shirt. Sad, eh?

When it became obvious that the mother wasn't necessarily believing her, but not doing anything to stop it (My son and daughter would have gotten the, "Dudes, it is a public place; you can't tell people to go away" lecture), we packed up to leave, amidst many Kristi tears.

At this point, Bernard and I were faced with the "what do we do now" issue. I don't want Travis to believe that everyone who rejects him or is mean to him is useless and not worth the time, but I don't want him to be "dragged down" either. So, I told him that we (daddy and me) didn't know exactly what to do either, and that is why we left. We also tried to make him understand why it was important to be nice to everyone.

(And for those out there wondering, we did interrogate Travis to make sure he wasn't taunting, even though we were pretty sure we saw all that was being said and done. He did admit to kicking sand towards them right before we left -- go Travis. I mean, son, don't do that).

So, in my heart of hearts, I feel like we did the right thing by just leaving the situation and letting Travis know that sometimes people are not very nice, and we really can't do anything about it. However, we can always take the high road and make sure that we are behaving as a gentleman.

But, here it is two or three hours later, and I am still wishing I had left a piece of my mind in the Canton Rec Park (even though, I don't have a lot to spare).

The only compromise (and yes, it is probably immature) is this:

Rebecca/Rachel (whichever one you were), your little girl is not a very nice person. That is unfortunate, because nice people are more fun to be around,and are generally happier in life. I hope that you saw what was happening, and will use it to teach her how to treat people, but if not, rest assured that at the very least, you bolstered my confidence in homeschooling another year. If that is what public school socialization does for people -- none for my family, thank you just the same.

Good day.