Alone in a Crowd

I once heard someone define the difference between an extrovert and introvert in terms of how they get energized. An extrovert will come away from a large group or social interaction ready to tackle anything and the subsequent "alone" time leaves them feeling disgruntled and adled.

On the other hand, an introvert needs "alone time" to regroup and "calibrate" so to speak.

I am an incurable introvert. The first time I participated in the Myers Brigg Type Indicator, the professor explaining the results to us said that anything near zero was a "type" that was marginal and we could go back and forth. From around 7 to 15 would show a strong preference and up to 25 a very strong preference. Anything higher was so ingrained in us, we could probably never change.

My "score" for introverted-ness was in the high 50s. It has since gone down, some, but my most recent "test" still had the "I" in the high 20s.

Couple that with a basic shyness, especially in new situations or around new people, and I am probably a near basket case by the time I get alone again. It also tends to make it difficult for me to "open up" to make new friends and makes me appear to be much more of a loner than I may truly want to be. I also hate talking on the telephone, or calling people. My first line of defense is to try and talk my husband into doing it. However, he hates it as badly as I do. (So, if I need to return your phone call, you may find I've sent an email instead. :)

Other people (once they have gotten to know me) admit to thinking I was the most stuck up, snobbish person when they first met me. Others admit that my prolonged bouts of silence in group situations make me seem mad and pouty.

Lovely.

I think that is why I like the Internet. I can take the time to think through a situation and how I want to respond. And, pixels are less threatening to me than actual people.

(For the record, I have NO problems with public speaking, and actually enjoy being in front of a crowd. It is the smaller, more intimate encounters that can send me skittering.)

I am not alone. In this obviously outdated study, Revenge of the Introverts, the Internet was just getting going, and already introverts were finding a way to express themselves. And for further, amusing, reading, check out Caring for Your Introvert

In my own personal experience, I have found that most of the people I associate at DP Challenge and another Christian photography website that I help moderate also admit to being more of a "loner," and enjoy online interaction because it allows them to be "part of society" while remaining in the relative safety of their own home. (I say relative because I live with a 6 yo and a 3 yo, and things can get a bit harried at times.) It also makes the person that typically hasn't had hordes of friends in life feel like part of a larger network. (Test -- If you refer to someone you've never met or talked to in "real life" as your friend, I may be talking about you.)

But, can the Internet and cyber-relationships truly replace flesh and blood relationships? Can I continue to hide behind my screen forever?